- I lost weight when I stopped grazing
- What I do instead of grazing
- When I stopped grazing I also stopped thinking about food ALL the time
This post explains why putting a balanced meal on a plate helps you lose weight.
When I understood why grazing worked AGAINST me reaching and maintaining a healthy weight, it was easier to start eating balanced meals.
When I look back at the 10 years I was overweight, the more complicated I made eating, the harder it was to lose weight. But when I finally threw my arms in the air, said to hell with it… and went back to the basics, I lost weight.
One of the first things I did was stop grazing all day. And it made a world of difference. This post explains what I did instead.
Why I started grazing
When I was overweight, I started following diet rules, tips and tricks. This meant making big changes to what I normally ate and avoiding many types of food. My meals became smaller and in hindsight, unbalanced.
I thought I was doing everything right.
But in reality… when I stopped eating balanced meals, I stopped meeting my body’s needs (though I didn’t know this). So, I felt hungry all the time.
And feeling hungry all the time, made me think about eating all the time.
In fact, I thought I was addicted to food.
Eventually I’d get so hungry, I’d break down and eat something I thought I shouldn’t.
Then feel incredibly guilty and ashamed.
And I started worrying I lacked discipline.
(I didn’t know that weight loss is about building healthy habits, NOT willpower.)
This complicated relationship I was building with food, made me feel anxious. I wanted to prove to myself that I had the discipline to stick to my diet.
The only way to get rid of that anxious feeling was having a plan to correct it. So I’d decide to eat an even smaller amount at my next meal.
I thought eating less would help me get back on track.
Now I know this plan was self-defeating.
Why?
Because the more often I cut back at mealtime, to make up for snacking, the hungrier I became between meals… and the more I’d snack.
Pretty soon I was just eating small amounts here and there throughout the day.
And I continued to gain weight.
…At the time, of course, I didn’t see this pattern at all.
Grazing became my normal
After eating this way for a while, some people started to say “Oh, Kelly just likes grazing.”
So I began thinking, “I just like grazing.”
Soon I started to see grazing as an acceptable way to eat.
I was just somebody who preferred to eat little bits here and there, but never a full meal.
Without realizing, I’d become scared to eat an actual meal!
I thought:
If I can gain weight by eating small amounts most of the time,
how much more weight will I gain
if I eat a complete breakfast, lunch and dinner?
I became afraid of feeling full.
I continued grazing because I didn’t understand how the body works.
Like, I didn’t know that if you don’t eat enough regularly, your body goes into survival mode and slows down your metabolism.
I also didn’t know that balanced meals made of whole foods (big enough to make you feel satisfied) help you lose weight.
Whole foods are foods found in their most natural state. They’re full of vitamins, minerals and fiber that meet your body’s needs. When you eat a balanced meal or snack made of whole foods you NATURALLY reach a point of feeling “full”. Then you know to stop eating.
An orange is a whole food. It’s hard to eat more than 1 or 2 oranges at one sitting.
Processed foods are full or sugar, salt, preservatives, artificial flavors and coloring that c-o-n-f-u-s-e your body. Then it’s hard to know when you’re full.
Orange juice is a processed food. So it’s easy to drink 1 or 2 glasses of orange juice… But each glass is equivalent to about 3 oranges (MINUS all the natural fiber and vitamins found in an oranage & PLUS tons of added ingredients put in the juice)!!
Eventally I’d only feel good about eating fruit, diet pop (which confuses your body) and low-fat processed foods, like pretzels and rice cakes—always careful to NOT eat enough to feel full.
But the longer I went eating less (grazing on low-fat food) the more I’d over-eat when I broke my diet.
Despite all the time and energy I spent trying to lose weight, things just got worse instead of better.
My life went on this way until everything got so bad I asked for help.
Grazing makes eating complicated & set me up to fail
- I always had low energy because I never met my body’s needs with a variety of natural foods.
- I started thinking I had a slow metabolism. All my friends who were a healthy weight ate breakfast, lunch and dinner.
- I got into the habit of always eating or drinking something.
- I felt awkward eating with other people because I was only comfortable eating small amounts.
- Soon after I ate I’d be hungry again. Meanwhile everyone else was busy getting on with their day.
- I was always looking for a washroom because I needed to brush my teeth each time I ate.
- I never really knew how much I ate. And worried all the time. So I’d try to under-eat to be safe, which always lead to overeating.
I lost weight when I stopped grazing
I hit rock bottom a few times during my recovery.
Each time I found myself
deep
down
a pit,
…with no idea how to climb out, I asked for help.
And each time I discovered an important piece of the weight-loss (aka healthy habit) puzzle.
Remember, healthy habits help you reach and maintain a healthy weight.
Diets are short term solutions.
We are all in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars.
–Oscar Wilde, playwright
Asking for help is simply saying: Hey, I want to get better! Life is a collaboration. We need to bring people into our lives to support us in reaching goals. Everyone who’s successful has a team of people around them—whether they’re an Olympian or a child learning to paint. We all have people who fill in the gaps by providing resources and guidance. It’s a strength to ask for help.
In my second year of university I asked for help. Help suggested I sign up for the school meal plan. Then I could get back into the habit of eating 3 balanced meals each day, rather than grazing.
Here’s what happened and more information on how to transition from grazing to eating 3 meals a day.
I lost weight when I focused on being healthy
I didn’t put it into words at the time, but I lost weight when it became more important to me to be healthy than to be thin.
So many opportunities were passing me by. And that scared me. So I was FINALLY willing to try something new: eat 3 ROUGHLY balanced meals each day made MOSTLY of whole foods.
To my surprise healthy habits translated into a healthy weight!
When I stopped grazing and started meeting my body’s needs (via 3 balanced meals) I:
- stopped thinking about food
- reached and maintained a healthy weight
- started thinking about my future
I became present. It sounds strange, but the world felt new again.
Instead of being preoccupied by hunger, guilt and shame, I could concentrate on everything going on around me.
I became grateful for the smallest things.
It feels great to eat and get on with your life!
Until then I didn’t understand that our bodies function best when they’re in a routine. Think about how you feel when you’ve stayed up later than usual. Our bodies like eating patterns as much as they like sleeping patterns.
The great thing is… the world already works around meals!
Schools and offices break at meal times.
Families and friends get together for meals.
And restaurants serve meals on a plate.
These times set aside for meals make it easier to stop grazing.
Having breakfast, lunch and dinner gives your day structure. And feeling satisfied after a meal allows you to focus on your interests between each meal.
Eating 3 ROUGHLY balanced meals made MOSTLY of whole foods helps you reach all your goals.
How I stopped grazing
When I started putting my food on a plate before I began eating, I stopped grazing. This approach also simplified the process of reaching and maintaining a healthy weight. Why? Building your meal before you begin, gives you a good picture of what you’re eating. Then you can:
- see if you have a balanced meal (so you can meet your body’s needs)
- see where you can improve your meal with more whole foods
- know how much you’re going to eat (grazing can go on forever and you can end up eating more than you need)
- discover (through trial and error) the approximate size your balanced meal needs to be in order to sustain you until your next meal
- brush your teeth after you’re done eating
- concentrate on your next task
Getting into the routine of eating 3 meals each day makes it easier to be aware of what you’re eating so you can adapt your choices and make progress toward your goals.
When you stop grazing and get into the habit of preparing a healthy meal before you begin, eating becomes a non-issue. Then you can accomplish incredible things between meals.
Here’s a printable Eatwell Guide. Put it on your fridge. When you place food on your plate, or pack a lunch, try to match the food group proportions found on the Eatwell Guide. Then sit down and enjoy your meal.
What if you’re hungry between meals? Eat a balanced snack. But only after you’ve put it on a plate!
Stop grazing!
Put your food on a plate, sit down and enjoy your meal. Then carry on with your next activity.
Here’s a link to some balanced lunches I’ve been eating regularly over the past 20 years that I’ve been a healthy weight.
Build healthy eating and exercise habits. A healthy weight will follow.
I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers
“I didn’t know I was broken till I wanted to change…”
Are you used to eating a bit here and there while you cook?
Do you ever eat standing in front of the fridge?
When else do you find yourself grazing?
Share your experience in the comments below—identifying your behavior helps everyone recognize and break unhealthy patterns.
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Sharing what I learned makes the 10 years I STRUGGLED worth it
Excellent advice and a great read. Well done Kelly, keep it coming.
Thanks Marianne 🙂
Great post, can relate to this so much!
Thanks Kate! Eating 3 balanced meals a day was a huge turning point for me.
Thank you for writing about your experience. I am considering taking on this lifestyle. While I was in Italy last summer, I noticed that my Aunt and Italian cousins ate hearty meals and never snacked. In fact, if you offered them something between meals, they would decline and say, no thank you, I’ve already eaten. I thought for sure I would gain weight as I was sitting and eating more than I do at home, more times than I normally would. I was in Italy 6 weeks and never gained an ounce. Returned home the same weight. I have heard my friends say the same thing. “Went to France and didn’t gain any weight.” I eat a Paleo diet for a couple years now, but I often snack. I only lose weight when I am very strict with what I eat, protein and veggies only. However, it is strict and I find myself over doing the snacks and binging. Frustrated and am going to start your way. The Mediterranean way. The right way. Thanks again!
Hi Susan!
So lucky you got to be in Italy for 6 weeks and spend time with your family!
It’s interesting, when our routines change we often learn important things. When my family visits for a few weeks at a time (from England) we get on a healthy sleeping schedule and I have experienced so many positive outcomes from regular sleep! (I know this sounds obvious but it was a revelation to me.) Ok … I love your comment and insight. Recently I wrote a blog post about snacking. I’ll link to it at the end of this comment. But just want to clarify my approach to eating:
I eat roughly balanced meals made mostly of whole foods and roughly balanced snacks (when I’m hungry) made mostly of whole foods. My approach is that it’s important to eat 3 square meals a day (balanced meals) and then if I’m hungry it’s ok to snack. Why?
1. If you eat something then decide to skip a meal and then get hungry and decide to snack … you can become preoccupied by hunger, eating, guilt, etc. and your body is not in a routine – which our bodies crave (including a sleep routine!) Eating 3 meals a day keeps eating simple. Snacking when you’re hungry stops you from being preoccupied by hunger between meals.
2. If your meals are roughly balanced and made mostly of whole foods, then you’re giving your body everything it needs to do all the incredible things your body does… balanced meals cover all the nutrients your body requires to function properly. Whole foods are food in their most natural state and therefore take time to break down in your body – your body does the processing – so you stay full longer. I’m guessing your family in Italy (and your friends who visited France) ate meals that are full of natural and fresh food (rather than heavily processed food and heavily processed “diet” food.) So when I eat 3 roughly balanced meals made mostly of whole foods and feel hungry between meals, I know I’m genuinely hungry; I know my body genuinely needs more energy and nutrients. So I’ll make a balanced snack to tide me over until my next balanced meal.
Here’s a link that explains this approach to snacking: https://www.the10principles.com/can-you-snack-and-lose-weight/
This approach has made eating a non-issue for me for the last 18 years. It’s kept me healthy and happy.
Thanks for sharing your experience Susan. And thank you for your thoughtful comment! xo
Male here. I also had great results eating 3 paleo meals and no calories meals. Not even a bite! I felt happier, energetic, stronger and looked muscular/toned (gained 5 lbs). And lower part of belly bulge was becoming smaller. However, when I ate small snacks between meals, all paleo, my weight actually decreased and body composition had the skinny-fat look. Weird.
Hey Ak,
Thanks for your message. What’s a no calorie meal? There are so many “diet” terms and expressions but I’m not familiar with that one.
🙂 Kelly
This is so helpful thank you! I’ve been thin my entire life but after having a baby the stress and exhaustion has made me want to eat all day long. I’m not losing any baby weight and I think the the constant eating. Going to try to switch to 3 healthy meals and see if that helps instead of grazing all day
Hi Sarina! I love how PROACTIVE you are! You’re noticing an unhealthy pattern and making a change. Here’s a few other posts you might like to read:
– Balanced meals here.
– Balanced snacks here.
– Examples of lunches that helped me reach a healthy weight here.
If you have any questions let me know! Just leave a comment on any blog post and I’ll get it 🙂
And… CONGRATULATIONS on being a new mom!
xoKelly
Well done Kelly, Glad to read this post! It’s very informative.
Thanks Cynthia! My life is so much simpler now that I don’t graze. I hope you’ll try it too. A great way to start is by eating 3 balanced meals vs. grazing for just ONE day. Taking it one day at a time makes change so much easier than being overwhelmed by the idea of “forever”. Keep me posted on how it goes! 🙂 Kelly
Hey guys, I’m going to try this 3 meals. My son will be 18 in December and I have gained more and more weight for 18 years, and I was a fitness instructor 18 years ago but grazing on every snack in the house has not helped. I exercise 30 minutes everyday but I just continue to gained, I’m 180 now, biggest I have ever been, it hurts and makes me extremely sad… so I’m going to try 3 meals a day of more Whole Foods to see if that helps me any, I’m scared of all that food but at this point, it definitely can’t hurt, your reviews are awesome so I believe it can help me to give this a chance. I feel so out of control on snacking even when I say not this time but I usually end up losing it by snacking. Would you send me a list of Whole Foods meals that have worked for you, that will help me to get started. Would you guys check in on me to make sure I’m doing okay with this because I feel so all alone in this battle, no willpower…. thanks for understanding my struggle.
Hi Connie,
Thanks for your message.
YES!!!
Your best next step is to eat 3 ROUGHLY balanced meals made MOSTLY of whole foods. Big nutritional meals help prevent snacking—all my 1:1 clients experience that.
Also, try to choose balanced snacks when you’re hungry between meals.
Put your food on a plate FIRST and then enjoy.
When you meet your bodies nutritional meals you STOP having the desire to snack. But… if you’ve been snacking for years it’s probably a habit and one you need to give yourself the grace to break slowly.
All these choices will help you unlock your H 🙂 PPY weight.
Right now I’m putting a book together of Breakfasts, Lunches, Dinners, Snacks and even Desserts I’ve been eating for the last 21+ years that normalized my relationship with food. It’s coming soon.
In the mean time, here’s some lunch ideas your body will love.
And don’t be afraid of big meals.
Try eating them with your son when you can.
Reaching & maintaining a healthy weight is **not** so much about “how” much you eat… it’s more about “what” you eat.
Let me know if you have any other questions, Connie.
You can do this!
xoKelly
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on how to stop picking at food all day. I need to stop grazing and going to try eating 3 meals and sitting down for them. I love reading your articles.
I used to graze all day because I thought about food all the time and always wanted the option to eat more if I got too hungry. But as soon as I started having 3 “decent” (ROUGHLY balanced and made MOSTLY of whole food) meals I stopped thinking about food and was so much more productive. I LOVE that you’re going to try a day of not grazing and focus on 3 balanced meals. And don’t be afraid to have a snack in between if you’re hungry. Also, so happy to hear you’re enjoying the articles Lewis. Thank you! 🙂 Kelly