- this small change makes a big difference
- 3 steps that help you STOP!
- breaking this habits gives you FREEDOM
When I was overweight there was something I did EVERY time I walked by a store window, shiny elevator door, black marble wall or mirror.
Yup, you guessed it.
I’d try to catch my reflection and wonder:
I even searched for my silhouette in tv’s that were turned off.
…And sadly I see other people doing this all the time, too.
But one day I decided to stop checking myself out everywhere I went.
And this tiny, seemingly insignificant change made a HUGE difference.
Looking at your body in a reflective surface doesn’t help you lose weight
Right?
It actually does the opposite.
Constantly looking at your body size:
- fills your mind with negative self talk
- gets you obsessing over slight changes
- drags your energy in the wrong direction
Trying to get a glimpse of your reflection is PREOCCUPYING.
The beautiful feather was painted by my friend Hilton Henhawke. I met him at a garage sale this summer. He’s an incredibly talented Mohawk artist.
Here’s 3 reasons why you’ll lose weight when you STOP checking yourself out.
You’ll lose weight when you stop checking yourself out #1:
When I used to look at my body in reflective surfaces, a destructive domino effect would follow that began with negative self-talk.
First:
I’d be upset by what I saw.
And then feel ashamed.
I thought the overweight body looking back at me was because I lacked discipline.
(Reality: My weight-loss method was wrong.)
Next:
I’d try to find a way to feel better.
I’d think:
Maybe if I skip lunch and work out a bit extra tonight
then tomorrow I’ll wake up closer to my goal…
The result?
These extreme choices would throw me into a vicious cycle of starving, bingeing and purging
which slowed down my metabolism
& made it harder to lose weight.
And worse?
When you’re constantly critiquing your body there leaves little room to think about life.
SOLUTION:
Think about the world around you.
STOP this negative self talk and free your energy!
Move your attention away from the reflective surface and refocus on:
- What you’ve got to get done today?
- Who you’re looking forward to seeing?
- How you can make your weekend plans more memorable?
Make your life and all the characters in it your priority. Then all your concerns with eating and weight will take a back seat—which make it easier to be productive and reach all your goals in every part of your life.
You’ll lose weight when you stop checking yourself out #2:
Looking at your reflection is as good as wishing you could lose weight. It’s a waste of energy.
SOLUTION:
Decide what you CAN DO today.
Remember, losing weight FOR GOOD is all about lifestyle changes.
Move your eyes away from the shiney surface and ask yourself:
How can I improve my eating and exercise habits?
Do you need to:
- stop bingeing after you’ve eaten something you regret?
- make your workouts less extreme?
- add more foods that are naturally high in fat to your meals to make them more balanced—like avocados, 3.25% milk or salmon?
Making small changes builds lasting habits.
After you choose one ACTION get back to thinking about the rest of your life.
Is there a teacher or colleague you need to talk to before leaving school or work today?
Do you have something fun planned for tonight?
When is the due date to sign up for that art course?
You’ll lose weight when you stop checking yourself out #3:
Constantly looking at your body gets you obsessed with slight changes and lost in the details (that don’t matter!)
SOLUTION:
Losing weight for good is about the sum of all your healthy eating and exercise choices made over time.
Checking yourself out all the time is like asking for a DAILY report card (at school or work).
Why would you want that?
It would be up and down and give you little information.
What’s actually important is the general trend over time.
Are you taking less extremes and carrying on toward your goals after you make a “mistake”?
Give yourself a realistic block of time before you check your progress so you can:
- figure out what works for you (through trial and error)
- get used to making healthier choices more often
- & build on your success
Think about how all the healthy choices you make over the next few weeks will add up.
Where do you want to be a month from now?
#progressNOTperfection makes change lasting!
For example:
Are you proud that you wore something you felt good in yesterday… like those boots you were going to save for when you reach your perfect weight?
I had to stop a woman in her 70’s on the street today to find out the name of her (Lemon Jelly) boots. She looked amazing!
Can you dress in clothes you like again today and make one healthy substitute to your afternoon snack too? Like instead of just eating dry rice cakes and an apple, add some peanut butter to your rice cakes to make your snack more balanced, put them on a plate with your apple and enjoy!
Good choices get EASIER & add up!
Scales be GONE!
Checking yourself out in reflective surfaces and weighing yourself set you up to FAIL for the same reasons.
You’ll go up and down on the scale as you lose weight because of things like retaining water while menstruating and building muscle from exercising.
Muscle weighs more than fat but is MUCH leaner. Muscular tissue is more compact. So you can weigh more but be a few sizes smaller.
Weighing yourself can make you feel discouraged while in reality… AMAZING things are happening!
You’ll lose weight when you stop checking yourself out
How I STOPPED looking in reflective surfaces
For years I looked at my reflection.
When I realized how distracting it was, I made a conscious effort to stop.
It didn’t take too long (surprisingly) and the benefits were that I:
Got out of my head
into my life
& lost weight!
Kind of EVERYTHING I wanted!
When I stopped checking myself out I truly became WAY LESS preoccupied. And it helped me listen to my body and work WITH it rather than looking at outside indicators to decide what to eat.
Here’s how I did it.
Once you:
- Realize you’re looking in a reflective surface
- Stop as soon as you can*
- Think of something or someone you care about
*Catching yourself mid-act is a powerful way to break unhealthy habits.
For a while I’d have to stop myself MANY times a day.
But soon I’d catch myself sooner.
And sooner.
And then I started wondering how big I looked, less often.
It got easier and easier to:
March by a mirror.
Be oblivious to the black marble wall.
Ignore that shiny elevator door.
And stroll by the turned-off tv…
With ZERO desire to check myself out.
Eating ROUGHLY balanced meals made MOSTLY of whole foods and then getting on with my life between meals (rather than critiquing my body) helped me:
- stop getting lost in the details
- get excited about more important goals
- lose weight
Refocusing on the rest of my life gave me time to get excited about everything else. And… my fears and stress around body size shrunk… as did my weight.
I also used this same Realize, Stop & Think method to STOP weighing myself and STOP reading labels & counting calories (because I eat ROUGHLY balanced meals made MOSTLY of whole foods I know I’m eating healthy proportions and getting my required daily nutrients). It felt great to stop fixating on numbers and helped me SIMPLIFY losing weight.
Make Today Count
Is there a spot you always look to see your reflection?
…Like on the way out of your office or on the glass panel at the bus stop?
Try NOT looking there today.
Build healthy eating and exercise habits. A healthy weight will follow.
Next Steps
Put an elastic band on your wrist. Next time you catch yourself looking at a reflective surface stop as soon as you can and switch the elastic band to the other wrist.
Ignoring superficial results will help you focus on building healthy habits and a life you love.
Best place to start?
Get my ONE DAY Meal Plan.
It will show how I lost 30 pounds 25 years ago… by eating MORE.
Remind me to FORGET to look in reflective surfaces.
Why?
You’ll lose weight and gain a whole lot of happiness when you stop checking yourself out.
Do you love those mustard Lemon Jelly Boots as much as I do?!
Or are they not your cup of tea?
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Sharing what I learned makes the 10 years I STRUGGLED worth it
Yes I do this– Thanks for your encouragement and the steps to stop it. Always appreciate your perspective and thoughts, Kelly!
Thanks Kathy! It seems like such a small thing but no longer looking in reflective surfaces really cleared my mind, helped me STOP taking extremes (over-exercising, skipping meals, etc.) and got me focusing back on my life (I checked so see “how big I looked” sooo much more than I realized!) People say “game-changer” a lot but this truly was a game changer for me! xoxoxo
I highly value your professional approach, Kelly. The information is immensely valuable and already it’s made it easier for me to build healthy habits. And I’ve even started to lose weight. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s amazing Clare ❤️. So happy to hear that your big focus is habit building and that you’re already getting results. Please keep me posted!! xoKelly