Shrimp Club with Laura Belgray

• in-depth look at 1 person’s Shrimp Club experience (mine!)
• the day I started my blog
  
• a mentor makes a WORLD of difference
  

I want to tell you about something called Shrimp Club.

Someone named Laura Belgray.

Somewhere you can take people by putting letters together.

And a little crustacean named Sheldon.

Sheldon’s not really part of the story. But in the words of Mariah Carey: “I couldn’t resist him and I had to keep him.”

Anyways… this story begins a few decades earlier.

Shrimp Club was always in the cards

Every Christmas I wrote “typewriter” on my wish list.

When I hit high school I took a keyboarding class and started asking for an electric typewriter instead.

Then along came graduation and I got some award money. So as soon as I stepped onto campus I went straight to the bookstore and bought a school jacket and (drum roll…) desktop computer.

Finally I’d arrived.

It felt like I had a blank piece of paper and markers in every colour.

The only problem was… I had no idea what to write about.

I was a super-shy kid

Except at home where I talked non-stop—moderation’s never been my strength.

I was afraid of saying something wrong. So I didn’t say anything at all.

But the longer I was silent at school, the more pressure there was to say something profound.

It was a self-perpetuating cycle of silence. And completely paralyzing.

Desperate to un-mute myself, I fell in love with the idea of writing—putting what’s locked in your head on paper with the glorious option to edit.

I was trying to find a way to connect.

Then I turned 14

That summer we drove across Canada and did a Griswold family vacation.

Station wagon – check!
Top car carrier – check!
Propane tank – check!

As we made our way toward the mountains, we ate burgers, fries and pop for lunch and dinner at cool little road-side diners and spent hours and hours sitting in the car.

Oh yah… I also hit puberty.

Near the end of the road trip I was SHOCKED when it was pointed out to me that I’d gained a little weight.

Eeek!

Feeling like “me” again became top priority before starting high school.

So I began collecting diet rules, tips and tricks

Such as:

• only eat the white of an egg
• chew your food 10 times before swallowing
• & don’t eat after 6pm

…I thought I was patching together a comprehensive approach to losing weight.

But in reality, all these crazy restrictions made my eating disordered.

Suddenly what to put on my plate became incredibly complicated. And I was increasingly preoccupied with food, weight and hunger.

On my first day of high school I felt fat. And worried I looked like I didn’t care about the extra weight. It really was anyone’s guess because I was still painfully quiet.

If something didn’t change soon I was sure I’d become invisible.

So I forced myself to start talking.

…Like everything in life, the more you practice the easier it gets.

My eating disorder cracked me open. And for that I’m forever grateful.

With that hurdle behind me, I was on to the next.

Soon everything I cared about faded into the background while I poured my energy into trying to lose weight.

Getting closer to Shrimp Club

Fast-forward a decade and I’d recovered from my eating disorder.

After 10 years of obsessive dieting and over-exercising that trapped me in the vicious cycle of starving, bingeing & purging, I stopped going to extremes and started to be kind to my body. And in return, I reached my happy weight naturally.

At 24 years old I was finally healthy.

I wavered between feeling euphoric… like someone had let me out of jail. And worrying I’d ruined my life.

I didn’t know how to pick up from where I’d left off.

What would I be doing today if I’d added up all the hours I’d spent dieting and put them toward something meaningful?

I loved people.
Fashion.
Art.
Animals.
Travel.
Comedy.
Writing.

And who knows what else?!

All my interests had been on hold since grade 9.

Rather than figure them out, I’d spent all those years punishing myself.

I wouldn’t even let myself touch our dog, Casey, if I ate one bite of something I regretted.

Finally I had something worth writing about

But I wasn’t ready to talk about it, so I focused on prevention.

After becoming an elementary school teacher, I supply taught all over London for two years. Then I came back to Canada and had my first full-time class. During that school year I developed and started piloting a kids program called Who Is NOBODY?

I wanted young people to realize:

EVERYBODY is SOMEBODY!

The program arrives in a suitcase with 25+ support materials that help students discover their interests and experience using them to help others.

To date over 42,000 students have participated and have donated time, materials and over $800,000 toward various charities.

I wanted kids to build their identity on their actions. And be so driven by chasing their dreams that they don’t get lost in the details of what they should or shouldn’t eat.

Everybody has different obstacles to overcome, but when you have a goal you’re aiming for, it’s much easier to stay on track.

**We temporarily interrupt this program to say:
“Driven by chasing their dreams” sounds cheesy… but you know that feeling—when you’re so excited you pop out of bed in the morning, you have a CAN-DO attitude all day and no barriers too big to get in your way. It’s kind of like falling in love but it’s the love for a project you’re pursuing. That’s how Who Is NOBODY? students feel about collecting used towels for animals at the shelter, or making bead bracelets to raise funds for cancer research… That’s what I’m talkin’ about when I say (cringe) “driven by chasing their dreams.”

As time ticked on and food, weight and hunger were an ABSOLUTE non-issue, I was feeling ready to do a Who Is NOBODY? project of my own.

I was ready to fall in love again.

My need for Shrimp Club started at a country club

Early one Saturday morning I presented Who Is NOBODY? at a teacher’s retreat hours away from my home. I’d just parked up after driving through a snow storm—the kind where you start to track each flake as it hits the windshield and you have to remind yourself to KEEP YOUR D*MN EYES ON THE ROAD!

(I don’t really talk to myself like that.)

Standing at the breakfast buffet, I put toast, 2 hard-boiled eggs and fruit on my plate. Then I reached for a big mug of coffee.

As I poured in extra cream I overheard two retired teachers talking.

They were both an unhealthy weight, only had salad on their plate and were praising each other for being so “good” for only eating greens.

If you read my blog often an alarm bell is going off: ding! ding! ding!
Because you know eating ROUGHLY balanced meals made MOSTLY of whole foods
is the KEY to reaching a healthy weight naturally.

Turning to head off to a table I stopped to adjust my purse and overheard one of the women say in a conspiratorial tone:

That was it.

BOOM!

These two women had lived a whole life of being on and off diets and feeling guilty anytime they ate a treat. And probably looked at me and thought I was lucky, getting to eat a whole plate of food and being a healthy weight.

Things are never what they seem, are they? And nobody knows until somebody says something. Or strings some letters together.

Driving home I prepared for my first Shrimp Club hot seat

Don’t know what a hot seat is?

I didn’t either. But now I do and I’ll tell you in a moment.

During the day the storm had settled and my mind also cleared.

I knew what I had to do next.

The whole way home I kept jotting down the things that helped me get healthy.

Every time I came off the highway and rolled up to a stop light I scribbled whatever I could think of on the back of my printed Google map with a red pen I found on the floor. (Our car’s like a mobile basement. You never know what you’ll find.)

My handwriting was loopy and hard to read but after I got home I was able to pull 10 ideas from the page—10 principles that fixed my complicated relationship with food, so I could:

eat normally
reach a healthy weight naturally
& enjoy life

And that’s how this website got started.

Almost ready for Shrimp Club

Next on the agenda…

I painted my hands blue to make the logo that I’ve since deconstructed and placed at the end of each post.

And I wrote each weight-loss article under the pseudo name Scaramoosh. (My cat.)

At the same time I wrote a book with a chapter for each of The 10 Principles and included 10 personal stories to show how I went wrong and the turning point that corrected it.

Then I put that “big” book on ice to write a nice, tight version that covers The 3 Steps that helped me understand:

1. how the body works
2. the healthy eating and exercise choices that work with your body
3. & how to start where you are and build those healthy habits

Finding Shrimp Club

(Someone call Disney. Wouldn’t that make a great film?)

At that time people only signed up for my newsletter once in a while.

But I wanted to reach people with the hard-won lessons I wished I knew all the years I struggled.

Knowing how to get healthy while over 30 million Americans (alone) suffer from disordered eating, feels like watching people cut their lawn with nail clippers when you KNOW there’s a ride-on mower a meter away in a shed.

So I used The 10 Principles to solve this problem—the problem of not being able to reach the people I needed to speak to the most.

After taking a little time to educate myself about the options out there (Principle #1: Understand), I found Shrimp Club.

I KNEW I needed to connect (Principle #10) with a community of people who were all on a train heading where I needed to go. With a trusty conductor.

More about Shrimp Club’s Laura Belgray

Here’s Laura’s bio:
Laura Belgray, founder of Talking Shrimp is an award-winning copywriting expert. In addition to online types, Laura’s list of clients and credits include NBC, Bravo, HBO, TBS, Fandango, and many, many more. So if you watch TV — and don’t skip the commercials — you’ve probably seen her words on air. The Copy Cure, her course with Marie Forleo, has helped thousands of creative pros to master and even fall in love with copywriting.

Laura’s a genius.

I signed up for help with copy. But in true mentor style, Laura sees things you don’t and helps you fill that hole or gently guides you in the direction you need to go. She makes everything a teachable moment (which is far sexier than it sounds because it means you get to learn from EVERYBODY). As Laura promised, I get more from everyone else’s hot seats than I do my own.

Laura leads by example and treats you like a friend who she’s sharing secrets with—not self-defeating diet secrets! But ideas that set you up for success. She tells you what she’s learning right now. What’s working and what isn’t. This saves so much time… Laura has a knack of bringing people together and is one of those teachers you LOVE. So you end up doing your best work. And, did I mention she’s f-ing hilarious!!! Laura makes learning fun.

In short… Laura gives you the red, yellow and blue of how to write like yourself so you can go out into the world and create a rainbow of colorful work that sounds just like you. And people who read what you write actually get to know you.

Shrimp Club helped me put The 10 Principles into action

So I could connect with people who are preoccupied by food, weight and hunger, like I was.

Whether you’re trying to lose weight, write a book, run a blog or do anything else, the best place to start is to understand what you’re doing.

Principle #1 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 UNDERSTAND

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
I had to understand that a healthy body is the result of healthy habits. Stop trying to look healthy and BE healthy!

Shrimp Club:
In my first session of Shrimp Club I kept talking about how my website helps people lose weight. Eventually Laura got it out of me that I had an eating disorder and wanted to help people caught in the starve-binge-purge cycle. My book also helps people who are chronic dieters but I needed to be more specific to communicate effectively. Laura was so nonplussed about me having had an eating disorder (as were the other Shrimpers) that I instantly felt comfortable and wished I’d opened up sooner.

Principle #2 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 UNDERLYING ISSUE

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
When I was diagnosed with OCD everything got easier. OCD was the missing piece of my disordered eating puzzle.

Shrimp Club:
Laura helped me understand what wasn’t working on my website: I needed to accept myself and write more openly about my experiences before I could share what I learned. Shout out to Dr. Henshall who wrote to tell me this too!

Principle #3 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 WORK WITH YOUR BODY

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
I needed to stop pushing my body to extremes and get into a healthy routine before I could reach a happy weight.

Shrimp Club:
Laura helps you focus on the next important thing you need to do to reach your goals so you’re not all over the map. This year she helped us take those steps by creating an 8 week challenge. Life’s full of endless work so prioritizing is key.

Principle #4 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 BUILD HEALTHY HABITS

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
When I understood weight loss was not about willpower, I refocused my energy on building healthy habits.

Shrimp Club:
Laura taught us the importance of being consistent. Don’t ghost your readers because you’re taking a course.

Principle #5 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 BABY STEPS

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
Small changes help you see what works for you and then make them a habit. Big changes are a stab in the dark.

Shrimp Club:
Laura gives us lots of tools to build healthy writing habits. She has something called a Coat of Arms that helps you find your voice, writing prompts and recommends lots of free tools on the web, like 750 words. She always tells us: Inspiration comes from doing. Don’t wait until you’re inspired to write. Write and it will inspire you. Start before you’re ready! There’s no perfect time to do anything. Take that first step.

Principle #6 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 CARRY ON

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
Every time I thought I made a “mistake” I’d restart my diet. This escalated to bingeing between diets. It’s important to reinforce healthy—not unhealthy—behavior.

Shrimp Club:
Laura’s been featured in Forbes Magazine and writes for Business Insider, etc. She’s everywhere! Last week I was listening to her on Jasmine Star’s podcast (a big online star!) and Laura said that she recommends people try something new and then try it again. You’ll keep getting better. For instance: I used to be so precious about photos I put on my website. But after working with Laura I just put ’em up. They’ll be another one next week so keep moving forward. When you aim for progress rather than perfection, you give yourself permission to make mistakes and get outside your comfort zone where you can produce even better work.

Principle #7 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 HEALTHY EATING

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
If you’re struggling with your weight you probably think you know what healthy eating looks like, but don’t actually know. I thought I knew for 10 years. I was wrong! This misinformation meant I was hungry all the time and worried I was addicted to food. My life felt like it changed overnight when I got good information.

Shrimp Club:
When you meet your body’s needs you do your best work.

Principle #8 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 HEALTHY EXERCISE

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
I over-exercised for 10 years. And I used exercise to purge. This slowed down my metabolism and made it hard to lose weight.

Shrimp Club:
Healthy exercise has countless benefits including better sleeps and clearing your mind so you’re ready to write!

Principle #9 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 BE YOURSELF

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
I got so lost in the details of trying to lose weight that I stopped pursuing everything I cared about—which put my problems under a microscope. Staying busy with your interests helps you do everything better. ...the call toward authenticity is sacred, it's holy, it’s for the greater good.— Paula Stone Williams, TEDxMileHigh

Shrimp Club:
As you know, around the time I started Shrimp Club I wrote every blog post under the name Scaramoosh and there was no photo of me in sight. But people want to know who they’re talking to. Put yourself out there. Now I write as Kelly Clark and I’m proud to have overcome my disordered eating and so happy I have the chance to share how I got healthy. Helping you write like yourself is one of Laura’s specialties. Writing is so much easier when you use words you’d actually say to a friend. Write like you talk!

Principle #10 applied to eating & Shrimp Club

 CONNECT

Reaching a healthy weight naturally:
I was so ashamed of my eating disorder I didn’t tell anyone. The result? I isolated myself with misinformation, my eating became increasingly disordered and it seeped into the rest of my life. Imagine if I had diabetes but didn’t get help. Disordered eating isn’t any different. Pro tip: When you need help, ask for help (!) Call for reinforcements. Get in the experts! Being open to learn and share with others is a strength. Then you can get back to your own expertise. Connecting brings us straight back to Principle #1: Understand.

All I can tell you today is what I have learned. What I have discovered as a person in this world. And that is this: you can’t do it alone. As you navigate through the rest of your life, be open to collaboration. Other people and other people’s ideas are often better than your own. – Amy Poehler, comedian

Shrimp Club:
Ok, so this is my favorite part of Shrimp Club. And it explains my Who Is NOBODY? Logo. When you open up to other people you both change. And when it’s in a supportive community you become more than you could ever be on your own. It’s a wonderful feeling to be a small part of something much bigger. Connecting helps you do all 10 principles better.

Shrimp Club LIVE from New York!

This past January we had a Shrimp-up in New York.

Unless I’m standing in NYC I forget the energy in the air, the buzz of the people and the feeling of possibility.

When my partner, Alex and I got off the train from New Jersey and came up to street level from Penn Station, the first New Yorker we saw was a women wearing head-to-toe neon, yelling: I ONLY DO HIGH-LEVEL SH*T down a phone she clutched with one-inch florescent orange nails.

After we dropped our bags off at the hotel we headed to Central Park. It was crazy-warm weather and everyone was wearing shorts.

The next day Shrimp Club met in person for the first time—but it felt like old friends catching up. We spent the day learning all sorts of high-level sh*t from Laura at a beautiful venue called Luminary. I think a lot of people even shared things they haven’t told anyone else.

Shrimp Club is an amazing space where Laura makes it easy for you to be (and write!) like yourself.

Then we headed back to Laura’s house.

It felt surreal because for over a year I’ve only seen Laura speak on video. So it was strange to be inside her apartment. It felt like I had Alice-In-Wonderland-ed myself inside my computer.

You really are the average of the people you spend time with and just being in the orbit of so many people I love and respect has made me a better communicator and person.

Someone actually did say something funny… I mentioned Laura keeps everyone laughing.

Who’s in Shrimp Club and what do they do?

Laura Belgray
USA – New York: If you’re a small-biz owner, expert, or anything ending in -preneur, I help you find the words to sound like YOU.

Turia Pitt
Australia: Mining engineer, athlete, author & motivational speaker who will change your life. (I can’t say anything BIG or meaningful enough to express the admiration I have for Turia. And I LOVE her mindset shift. Whenever she catches herself saying “I have to” she changes it to “I get to”… We can all work on that.)

Irina Leoni
USA – New Jersey: (HUGE!) Personality-based brand image builder and a reputation lifestyle photographer.

Colleen Kochannek
USA: Business mentor & teacher helping women 50+ start their first online business (with humor & heart).

Gretchen Oris-Chong
Australia: (Super patient & thoughtful) Branding design mentor guiding multidisciplinary creators in designing their ideas to grow with simplicity so they can do what they love.

Linda Spence Sidhu
USA – Seattle: List building expert in email marketing, who helps entrepreneurs come up with irresistible hooks that bring new subscribers in on autopilot. You have to check out her quiz.

Dr. Cindy Childress
USA – Texas: The Expert’s Ghostwriter helping entrepreneurs write bestselling books that go on to win awards, give Tedx Talks & build nonprofits. Get your 20-Second Power Sentence here. (Everyone LOVES Cindy’s power sentence.)

Kisma Donna Orbovich
USA – California: The Prosperity Code Mentor who helps creative entrepreneurs awaken their inner wealth wisdom and magnetize their money. Kisma is an incredible speaker.

Lindi Conover-Thompson
USA – Indiana: In the community development field with a LOVE for sustainable fashion!

Jenn Aspinwall
USA – Florida: Brand strategist & copywriter. After working with the BIG brands like Nike, Jenn’s applying everything she learned to help YOU! I love her brand look & feel and her 12 Little Tricks for Branding Like the Big Guys. You can get it here.

Stephanie King
UK – Brighton: Helps clean beauty pros launch successful Sugaring businesses & proud mentor to the next generation of Sugaring experts worldwide. Stephanie’s a pioneer in her business and one to watch!

Sarah Dobson
Canada – BC: Helps up-and-coming health researchers write extraordinary grant proposals. No matter what field you’re in you’ll learn so much just by visiting her site.

Reese Spykerman
USA – Michigan: Helps businesses understand that good design improves your bottom line and relationship with customers. Reese’s Landing Page freebie is… well, shouldn’t be a freebie. It’s that good.

Mye De Leon
Philippines: Creator of Mastering Hand-Lettering Program, author, artist & marketing strategist, helping artists enjoy a better life with their loved ones. Mye’s work is beautiful and she’s a team player. Check her out on Instagram.

Allison Evelyn Gower
USA – New York: Copywriter & Brand Coach for online entrepreneurs who want to unleash personalityyyyy 😉 Get your website written in weeks!

Jason Webb
Aussie Aussie Aussie – Melbourne: Business consultant specialising in hotel marketing that gets you more heads on beds and butts on seats.

Denise Cornell
USA – Texas: Helps online entrepreneurs sell more by connecting with the right people, at the right time with the right words. Everyone LOVES Denise.

Helena Bowen
USA – Colorado > Boston > LA: Speaker Coach & Speechwriter and producer who can prepare an amateur speaker for the world stage. Helena’s work is behind some of the most-watched Ted Talks.

Linda Ugelow
USA – Boston: Speaking confidence coach for entrepreneurs building their brand and business. Linda loves turning your biggest fear into something you love to do.

Trish Mossman
(Australia/UK/everywhere): Global wanderer helping women redesign their life to create more freedom, flexibility & fulfillment.

Alyssa Patmos
USA – Texas: A copywriter, teacher, product creator & motivator helping you design a business you love. Bring your design, copy & branding to the next level with Alyssa’s (everybody-should-do-this) Website Spice Check.

Marisa Corcorcan
USA – Atlanta: Copywriter who’s helped 100+ coaches & creatives identify, evaluate, organize, and create compelling virtual copy. Marisa shares her knowledge and spotlights others in her field to raise funds for organizations & causes that impact us all.

Brett & Debbie Davidson
England – London: A boutique consulting firm that specialises in working with growing financial planning firms. These two make a great team and have tons of personality.

Fiona Orr
USA: Coach with signature programs like her Epic Havingness Course that helps you get all the good stuff in life. And she’s always got something new to take you where you need to go.

Michal Martinek
USA: I’m obsessed with Michal’s whole-food meals. I wrote about his easy egg recipe here & you can get all his recipes here. He’s truly a Very Good Cook.

Frederike Harms
England: Helps you break down your dream like a project so you take action, get results & make the moves to embrace your life and career… (YES to all of that!)

Lisa Sonora
Mexico: Artist, Author, Creative Instigator. Check out Lisa’s gorgeous artwork on Instagram.

Brandi Bernoskie
USA: Aligns business owners with their true selves — whether it’s with a website or their business plan. Who doesn’t want a career where they can be themselves?!

Sandra Booker
Canada – Ontario: Creates ease in the lives of small business owners with her company that provides Virtual Assistants. Sandra is one-of-a-kind.

Kelly (me!)
Canada – Ontario: Helps yo yo dieters find freedom from preoccupation with food, weight and hunger and reach a happy weight naturally. My mission is to remove the stigma around disordered eating so people stop isolating themselves with misinformation and ask for help—just like they would if they broke their arm. Best place to start is here.

Make Today Count

Who can you connect with today to keep you from isolating yourself or to give you clarity?

It can be meeting a friend for a coffee, making a quick phone call or signing up for a course.

Spending time with other people is so healthy, no matter what you’re going through or want to achieve.

Build healthy eating and exercise habits. A healthy weight will follow.

Next Steps

Is there an expert you can reach out to? Having a mentor and joining a community with similar goals helps you go places you just can’t get to alone. Whether you’re training for a marathon, adopting children, deciding to get sober, launching a website, overcoming an eating disorder and/or reaching a healthy weight naturally… being part of something BIGGER than yourself will change your life.

And where do words take you?

Somewhere new; somewhere you can only get to when you’re part of something bigger than yourself.

You can never achieve anything really big by yourself.

-Turia Pitt, motivational speaker.

S is for Shrimp Club

S is for Get Started!

S is for Sandra, a Super special part of Shrimp Club

S is for Skating rink and Sub zero temperatures, getting funny Stares from Strangers and Switching Strappy Sandals with thick Socks and Snow-boots right after this Shoot…

S is for Stringing letters together that make Sentences that Sound like you

S is for Sesame Street… did you know Laura was on this Show?

S is for Sign up for Laura’s emails to find out about her recurring role on Sesame Street.

& S is for my Side-kick Sheldon, my Self-created Muppet Moment

(I’ve always thought the measuring stick of if you’ve really made it is when you sing with a muppet on Sesame Street. All the big names do. Billy Joel, Fiest, Ricky Gervais, Paul Simon, Cheryl Crow, Ray Charles, REM, Andrea Bocelli…)

Who’s your mentor? What communities, clubs or groups do you belong to? Is there a person you look up to who’s changed your life? Let me know in the comments below.